Being THAT mom. | Personal | Virginia Beach Children’s Photographer

This morning I cried. I mean, I cried hard. I was THAT mom.

Let’s back up a bit.  Today was the first day of school. After what was a VERY short summer in our book, with a blink of an eye fall is coming upon us.  This was the first summer where we didn’t have camps planned and all these schedules to keep up on, we winged it. And it was awesome. From a long trip to NJ in June, to weekend getaways, to visitors, beach, pool, Busch Gardens. Water Country, zoo, parks, the Poconos and then ending it again in NJ, we really had a fabulous summer.  I was so sad to see it go and so were the little peeps. I enjoyed every minute with them. I didn’t understand the hype from other moms about how thrilled they were that school was starting again.

Sure my kids bicker.. and argue. and act crazy..and drive me crazy.. and sometimes talk back, but all kids do right? I call your bluff if you say your kid doesn’t… I’d also be calling my own bluff if I didn’t admit that their are those times I am really stressed out and on a deadline and they happen to argue with each other at the wrong time and I may lose it, but I’m human. That’s ok. A few deep breaths..maybe a glass of wine and I am good to go! But I still loved all my time with them this summer and didn’t want it to end. At least not yet.

So last night after I put the kids to bed, I started clicking away on the computer catching up on work and a little head peeks in my door and says “Mommy..I can’t sleep”.

I looked up and saw Nicholas all flustered face and kind of sleepy-eyed, and I could tell something was wrong. He came and sat on the bed with me. I asked him what was wrong. “I’m nervous”.

He was nervous about his first day of first grade. This was a big deal for him, more so than kindergarten. He has been in school since he was 1, starting with daycare full-time and then switching to preschool (half days) when he was 2 1/2. He has never given me a problem, or was ever “nervous”. Not even when he started kindergarten. 1st grade would be all day. This was a big thing for him.

He was so worried about who he was going to eat lunch with and if any of his friends would be in there with him. Something so minor, caused this little boy a sleepless night. I talked it out with him and he finally drifted off to sleep.

This morning it was business as usual, the motions of a school day. But I could tell he was a little off.

 

 

He reminded me probably 198 times not to forget his lunch bag. (side note irony: he winded up forgetting his lunch bag on the bus going home) He was really stressing this lunch thing. After pictures (because you know I had to get “First Day of School Photos”), we walked to the bus stop and he went on the bus gave me a quick glance and wave and he was off.

I started balling. Like tears streaming down my face kind of cry. I was just so nervous for him. My heart was aching because he was so nervous and then on top of it, I looked over at Ella and SHE was crying. I said “What’s wrong, boo?” She said “I just miss Nicholas so much!” Aw jeez. We really are a sappy family.

I wiped my tears, took Ella to school, who did wonderful, and I went about my day.

I ran. I worked. I grocery shopped. I cooked. But the whole time I was thinking about Nicholas and how he was doing. Did he get to eat lunch with his friends? Did he eat the banana I gave him? Should I of given him a bigger water bottle? Seriously, I was THAT mom, stressing everything!

When he got off the bus at 3:40, he was ALL smiles and ran to see me, hugged me and looked at me and said “It was great!” He loves his teacher. One of his good friends is in his class and he got to eat lunch with him!! I was so happy!

I know something like “who we eat lunch with in school” is really so minor. But in his world, it was his biggest worry and I guess what makes me comforted is that he felt he could come to me with his biggest worry and talk it out. I was THAT mom. I was THAT mom my child could come to and talk about how he felt nervous or scared. I was THAT mom because I let my child fall asleep in the bed next to me because he was nervous and needed some comfort.  I was THAT mom because I didn’t want summer to end and I wanted to bottle up all my quality time with them in a little jar. I was THAT mom because I cried tears of worry over something really, really minor. I was THAT mom because I made my kids do a super quick mini photo shoot before school. I was THAT mom that they hugged so tight tonight and told me they loved me and I knew I made them feel safe, loved and cared for. Being THAT mom is pretty freaking awesome. And being I am THAT mom to these two, is even better.